I hate your face
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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