Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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