SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
i think i just lost a toe
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
