You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
