Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
im drinking this country out of the recession.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
