What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
