Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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