At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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