Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
