i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
