saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
