Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
