I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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