Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
