if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
