My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
