Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
