All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
