I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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