he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
