Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
