That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
