Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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