Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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