Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
