how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
