Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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