I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
