I want to walk on stilts...naked
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
