I want you more than these girls want KFC
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
