youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
