Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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