But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
