i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
