you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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