One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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