How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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