Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
