I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
