I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
