I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize