So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
