I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
