I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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