Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Come on in and take your pants off
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