I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
