I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
