you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
