btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
