Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
