all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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