and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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