Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
