real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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