I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I am available for nakedness
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
